Leagle Beagle April 2020



Your referrals are a sign of trust and we thank you for them.

Thank you to all the doctors, nurses, grocery workers, delivery drivers, custodians and maintenance workers. Thank you to all essential workers!


Optimism during turbulent and unknown times may be difficult, especially when being quarantined on top of each other every day, so the LEAGLE BEAGLE decided that you probably need some diversion. And there’s nothing better for that than smiles & perhaps even a laugh!

We hope this helps; just remember that we’re here, ready to help, if you decide with all this downtime to get that will or trust or other legal matter finally completed (847) 228-1100).

But for now: read on & enjoy the day!


Instead of re-runs & no baseball.Paul Sullivan, my long-lost “cousin” & renowned sports writer for the Chicago Tribune, tells us to go to baseball-reference.com and try to connect players from years apart.

He wanted to try connecting 2 scandals: “Shoeless” Joe Jackson of the 1919 Chicago Black Sox with 2017 stealing-pitcher-signs Carlos Beltran of the Houston Astros. He found this:

  • Shoeless played in 1919 with Hall-of-Famer Eddie Collins;
  • Collins played for the1928 A’s with Jimmie Foxx;
  • Foxx played for the 1942 Red Sox with Ted Williams;
  • Ted played for Boston in 1950 with Jimmy Piersall;
  • Jimmy played with Jose Cardenal on the 1965 Angels;
  • Jose played in 1980 with Willie Wilson and the Royals;
  • And Willie played in 1993 with the Cubs & Sammy Sosa;
  • Then Sammy, in 2007, played with Mark Teixeira & the Rangers,
  • And, in 2016, Mark played on the Yankees with…guess who…Carlos Beltran, the only Astro named in the MLB report!!

Now you have something to do!! And, Paul says, you can do it with any 2 players in baseball history.

Let the Legal Beagle know what you find, instead of “watching cable news or looking out the window wishing you could leave.”


  1. He’s so old, his blood type was discontinued. -Bill Dana
  2. I could tell that my parents didn’t like me. My bath toys were a toaster & a radio. -Rodney Dangerfield
  3. My parents are in their late sixties and they still have sex. They want grandchildren. -Wendy Liebman
  4. The problem is God gives men a brain & a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. -Robin Williams
  5. I was married for a short time. Just long enough to realize all those comedians weren’t joking! -Daniel Lybra
  6. Every one of my single friends from high school has tied the knot. And I’m getting older. Guess I should think about hanging myself too. -Laura Kightlinger
  7. I’m going to marry again because I’m more mature now and I need some kitchen stuff. -Wendy Liebman
  8. Here’s something I’ve never understood: how come men have nipples? What’s the point? They’re like plastic fruit. -Carol Leirfe


Keep an eye on your pets during these times. A dog in England is always happy & tail-wagging when his owners come home from work. But once his people quarantined at home, Rolo went bonkers with the wagging out of pure happiness. And this caused the poor guy to see a veterinarian & be diagnosed with …yes, a sprained tail! He’s now on pain medication but he’ll be alright soon.


  1. When I was ten, we moved because my father sold our house. Somehow the landlord found out about it and we had to go. -A. Whitney Brown
  2. My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried 3 husbands. Two of them were just napping. -Rita Rudner
  3. My wife & I had an amicable divorce. She lets me see my stuff on weekends. -Craig Shoemaker
  4. I may drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. -Rodney Dangerfield
  5. It wasn’t actually a divorce. I was traded! -Tim Conway
  6. I was a poor kid. My mom shopped at the Army-Navy Surplus store, but I felt stupid going to kindergarten dressed as a Chinese General. -Blamo Richer
  7. I went to a girl in a bar once & asked her where she was from. Guess she wasn’t interested because she said “Mars”. So, I asked, “You need a ride home?”-Ray Romano
  8. I went to a bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked, “What’ll you have?” I said, “Surprise me.” He showed me a naked picture of my wife! -Rodney Dangerfield

We hope you got a chuckle or two & some small amount of diversion from work or boredom. May we just remind you – The Sullivan Firm is available during these times.(847-228-1100)

Stay Safe  &Healthy…remember to Smile–and when you travel down that road in life: if you hit a fork in the road, take the fork! (Yogi)